The NeonClan Newspaper
by Neonclanners 4 Life
Summary: What's happening in our crazy forum? Read to find out what out insane (They are completely nuts. But walnuts are the best. Cashews are nice too.) members are up to now!
1. Edition 1, Page 1

Edition 1

Newspapers will start Saturday and end Wednesday

NEWBIES:

We currently have many newbies, including Liger, Holly, Shadow, The other Holly, Breeze, and has taken to following Shade, while Frozen rebels. The other newbies have not been seen yet, so their information is unknown.

LEAH AND WAFFLE ARE MARRIED!

The wedding occurred at 6:00, September 14th, being the most special wedding of NeonClan yet. All friends were invited, and even Bolt(and Hawk, who was not in NeonClan at the time) were there! The party lasted for about an hour, ending in another dead chat, which our beloved Boltie stole the last post of. Hopefully this amazing wedding will start a new wedding trend in NeonClan.

TODAY'S NEWS

Shade seems to have progressed in the disease caught from Flash, quite possibly a favor to Flash for eating an XD. She has also been seen being friendly, proving that she is not always violent. "I swear the next time someone says I am too violent I will rip they're spine out of they're eyeball. I don't know where they'd get an idea like that." says Shade.

NEWBIE NEWS:

Ahahahhaha

AhahahhahahahahhaFIRE

Many of NeonClan's members have learned to threaten the newbies, teaching them how to survive. Several newbies have a collection of Fairy Tail characters under their bed, a she-therian on that tree outside their window, a white tiger on their pillow, and other assorted items. Newbies have proved to be mostly inactive, although we hope this will change soon.

INTERVIEW OF THE DAY

Today we will interview Shade, the murderer in today's newspaper. Le interviewer would be BloopieSock, Shade's sanity.

**Q: Why are you so violent?**

A: IM NOT THAT F*CKING VIOLENT *rips off arms and eats*

**Q: Why do I not have arms?**

A: I ate them idiot

**Q: Have you killed all of NeonClan yet?**

A: No, I believe Flash and Grand still remain unscathed, as well as inactive newbies, Wish, and Raven. -nodnod-

**Q: Do you ever say nope?**

A: Nope

**Q: *facepalm***

A: Wonderul Question Darling

**Q: I hate it when you type like that. What species are you still hoping to add to your family collection?**

A: well, before if have said Australian but I'm getting married to Cherry, so it would be nice to have someone from Mexico, and someone from, let's say, India or China. And a male. I still need a male. *snarls at Raven*

**Q: Why do you like scaring people?**

A: Hmm? What do you mean?

**Q: why do you threaten newbies?**

A: Not threats. Facts. Anyway I did them the favor of not even being in their house.

**Q: What is your favorite animal form?**

A: Hard to say. I do like my silver lioness, it's quite soft and silky, but at the same time, my Blood Eagle is better suited to killing.

**Q: Why am I in an eternal timeout?**

A: You existed, duh.

**Q: Who is your best friend on NeonClan?**

A: It's hard to choose. But if I had to id say it's between Cherry Flash Amber Hawk and all the other people on NeonClan. That work for you? If it doesn't well... That sucks...

That's it for today's interview! Tune in soon to see more interviews with your favorite cats of NeonClan!

Fancy Symbols of the Day:

Heart - &amp; hearts with no space

Diamond - &amp; diams with no space

Moon and star - &amp; # 9770 with no space

These work. On forums and PM. Trust me, they work. TRUST ME. *eye twitch*


	2. Edition 1, Page 2

**New NeonClanners:**

We have two survivors newbies this week. Dee, who did remarkably well, faced with violence and the traditional NeonClan greeting, eating, and _HazelFrostyCrazySnow_ who quickly fell into the NeonClan routine with her former clanmates. Welcome and good luck, newbies!

**Thread News:**

_RP the Humans!_

Currently, there is a major plot happening in the RP, involving some war, dragons, a demon spirit, a couple lost memories, lots of magic, friendship, Smoke, kingdoms and... a toad? Unfortunately, this plot is closed to any new joiners as the current RPers say they are too far in to take more people. But feel free to sit back and enjoy the ride!

_Game: Warrior Names?_

One of the weirdest name generators NeonClan has ever seen is baffling NCers left and right. Check it out and get your name if you haven't done so already! A few examples: Manchat- Flash, Indianbong- Kira and Otterzander- Echo.

_Chat Five is a Never Ending Chick Flick_

Chat five is still up and running and will be for a while if it doesn't get destroyed again. Who knows how long this chat will be here for, so hop into the action and get chatting! And we're do for a re-paint some time, so keep an eye out for the paint party! Which will probably after Waffle freezes it for the tenth time...

_Game: *Is Silent*_

War is back on in the *silent* thread! If you were looking for a quiet place to eat a cookie, sorry, its more likely that very cookie will get blown up by a brownie army. But feel free to jump in and blow up some faces! Uh... places.

_Game: QUOTE LIKE YOU'VE NEVAH DONE BEFORE!_

Last but not least, the quoting thread where a Lord of the Rings quote party is just winding down. Got a LotR quote that you absolutely must share? Post it fast before the party ends!

All threads are always open, except for the ones that aren't so have fun and party it up!

**Other News:**

The winking disease has progressed, it is fatal to anyone who is struck with it. As of now, there is no known cure... Also, the Cultists are out again and converting innocent lives to their worship, known as Fairy Tail. Not looking to be converted? Only one piece of advice, run. And lastly, pie fights are happening sporadically. Please remember to duck when entering a thread.

**Interview with: Bolt!**

**1\. Amber: What would you do if I splatted a pie in your face?**

Bolt: Free pie is free pie.

**2\. Amber: *splats***

Bolt: Life is throwing me free pies. What else would I do rather than eat them? (Apparently life has a pretty #!*% good aim too.)

Bolt: answer as I would. I'm a naturelle, amigo. Merherherherher oh look a squirrel.

**3\. Amber: ****What you do if a hippo sat on your face?**

Bolt: Charge it $5 for every minute.

**4\. Amber: Well then. What about if a fluffy bagel ate your nose?**

Bolt: Well, then I'd have a bagel for a nose.

**5\. Amber: What are your feelings on JB?**

Bolt: Jelly bagels are pretty good

**6\. Amber: What so you think we look like?**

Bolt: Two eyes, a nose, a mouth. Maybe even hair, if I'm lucky.

**7\. Amber: If a walnut landed in your face what would you do?**

Bolt: Replace my head with a walnut and start fighting zombies.

**8\. Amber: If I hit you over the head with a banana what would you do?**

Bolt: Have banana in my hair.

**9\. Amber: Coming soon**

Bolt: …In theaters near you.

**10\. Amber: What if pie?**

Bolt: It's pie day. Gotta get down on pie day.

Bolt: Sometimes I want to slap myself over and over.

**Amber: *doesn't know what to say to that***

Bolt: Remain speechless in the halo of my fabulousness, child.

**Amber: Erm... Anyway congrats you survived an interview with Amber, let's see if your luck holds with Shade!**

Remember to follow and favorite and stay tuned for more news of what's happening in our crazy cult *coughs* I mean clan!


	3. Edition 1, Page 3

**New Neonclanners:**

First off I want to say, if you survived this long, you must have some crazy in you. Our only active survivor is Silvie and- wait didn't we have like a five newbies. *checks*

Yep we did. So listen up kiddos, 1/5 of you will survive the joining of the nuts who call themselves Neonclan, so if you join, and survive, well, *claps*

**Thread News:**

_RP the Humans_

It's total chaos down there- *chair flies overhead and crashes into wall behind Amber*

Everyone's doing their own thing and *Shade flies overhead and smashes into wall behind Amber*

*backs away*

So unless you're prepared for anything from walnuts to dragons to Grand you better stay clear from there.

_Chat Five_

You don't believe we're nuts. I see. Well if you check Chat five you'll see how truly crazy we can-

*Is trampled by everyone to catch the nupage*

*Stands up and brushes self off*

-Be just check in there. Because we are completely and utterly-

*Is sat on by a hippo*

ALRIGHT WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO BRING THE HIPPO.

_*Is Silent*_

Want to get rid of homework? Well guess what, we found an easy way to end this tedious problem.

Just blow it up.

Solves all our problems.

_Neonclan best Lines_

…

I shall repost a few of our best quotes here:

**Bolt**: I don't understand why you're all so afraid of Balloon.

**Amber: **She's scary.

**Bolt: **Then YOU listen to ME, Balloonsisseh. MWAHAHAHA - *cough* *coughcough* HAHAHA *cough* *spurts out rainbow* *Muffin comes over and eats rainbow* *turns into Nyan Cat and flies away* Dang.

Every single time.

**Amber: **/eats popcorn

**Bolt: ***puts on 3D glasses and leans back into cushiony seat* Well, that escalated quickly.

**_Next Quote_**

*hits Flashypoo with frying pan*

**-Amber**

*is hit by frying pan*

*becomes chameleon*

**-Flash**

wut just happened

**-Amber**

Someday she'll learn to stop trying to understand us

**-Shade**

**Those are just a few of our funny quotes, there are plenty more!**

**Other News**

Flash is now a mod of Neonclan! YAY

Okay that's it as you can see we're very boring-

*a fluffy bagel falls out of the sky riding the hippo and charges Amber*

-folk.

**Interview: Grand The High Lord**

**1\. Amber: What would you do if a splatted this pie in your face?**

What the... fluff? I'd throw you out a window on the fourth level of my palace.** 2\. Amber: What would you do if I did it again?**

**Grand: **First, I'd ask you very politely if you would please take a seat and that I'd be back after I showered. Then I would go take a quick shower to clean the pie of my face. After the shower I'd come back and [MA Rated Gore]

**3\. Amber: *splats***

**Grand: ***flexes fist* *grabs elemental sword* *runs around, chasing Amber, jaw clenched, eyes furious*

**/Runs off. *calls from safe distance away***

**4\. Amber: What would you do if I obliterated the existence of cake?**

**Grand: **THIS MEANS WAR

**Amber: /runs**

**5\. Amber: What if a whale sat on your face?**

**Grand: ***mutters* Honestly. Whales these days have no manners.

**6\. Amber: Squirrel**

**Grand: **GET THE DAMN SQUIRRELS OUT OF HERE. Anyway squirrels can't survive in Australia. Some traitors introduced Grey Squirrels to Australia but thankfully they couldn't survive.

**7\. Amber: OH NOES! SHADE ATE YOUR FACE! WHAT DO YOU DO?**

**Grand: **I'm quite fond of my face I am. Wait... Shade ate my face? *roars* SSHHHHAAAAAADDDDDEEEEE

**8\. Amber: What would you do if a hippo sat on your face?**

I wouldn't need to do anything since a hippo would never dare sit on the face of the One and Only, High King Grand *bows extravagantly*

**9\. Amber: The squirrel is on your face noming your nose. What do you do?**

**Grand: **What the fluff is a squirrel doing in Squirrel-Free Australia? NO SQUIRRELS IN AUSTRALIA *chases squirrel*

**Amber: *watches Grand The High Lord chase after a squirrel* And that ladies and gentlemen is Grand who shall from this moment on be Grand The Squirrel Hater!**

**Vote in reviews on if you want his new name to Grand the Squirrel Chaser or The Squirrel Hater**

**See y'll next week with more crazy stuff!**


End file.
